Don’t be alarmed, I’m not shopping someone for talking to me without invitation in the supermarket – no this is about ‘Imposter Syndrome’ when we sometimes feel like the imposter or stranger.
This is familiar to me and in management I have experienced at times that fear of ‘being found out’, as if somebody is going to come up to me one day and say “Well done, you had a good run and had us all fooled for a while but now it’s time to give up!” like the Leonardo Di Caprio character in ‘Catch me if you can.’ The fear of failing has been a constant driver rather than the excitement and anticipation of achievement which I try to focus more on now. In one-to-one coaching which I also incorporate into my management style I always encourage people to think big and believe in themselves and question the validity of that unhelpful inner voice hence the name of my coaching and training practice – Be Brave!
It’s odd that our own internal monologue can be convincing us of our unworthiness to do well for ourselves and there is doubtless a lot of pent up frustration along with unhelpful messages or modelling of behaviours around us from an earlier and more impressionable age that feeds into this and yet others can rate us highly while we hide the self-doubt from them.
Perhaps many of us are just scared of our own success and so fail to internalise it or acknowledge it. A saying that makes me laugh regards achievement and success is “The further up the tree you climb, the more people can see your ass!”
I guess that being British, I don’t really want everyone to see my ass (arse).