Don’t be alarmed, I’m not shopping someone for talking to me without invitation in the supermarket – no this is about ‘Imposter Syndrome’ when we sometimes feel like the imposter or stranger.
This is familiar to me and in management I have experienced at times that fear of ‘being found out’, as if somebody is going to come up to me one day and say “Well done, you had a good run and had us all fooled for a while but now it’s time to give up!” like the Leonardo Di Caprio character in ‘Catch me if you can.’ The fear of failing has been a constant driver rather than the excitement and anticipation of achievement which I try to focus more on now. In one-to-one coaching which I also incorporate into my management style I always encourage people to think big and believe in themselves and question the validity of that unhelpful inner voice hence the name of my coaching and training practice – Be Brave!
It’s odd that our own internal monologue can be convincing us of our unworthiness to do well for ourselves and there is doubtless a lot of pent up frustration along with unhelpful messages or modelling of behaviours around us from an earlier and more impressionable age that feeds into this and yet others can rate us highly while we hide the self-doubt from them.
Perhaps many of us are just scared of our own success and so fail to internalise it or acknowledge it. A saying that makes me laugh regards achievement and success is “The further up the tree you climb, the more people can see your ass!”
I guess that being British, I don’t really want everyone to see my ass (arse).
…The future’s orange!
Well at least these trainers are! I bought this fine flourescent pair for playing squash a few weeks ago online and on the site they looked red, very red but when I unwrapped them they blinded me briefly and now I have to tell opponents about them before we play – I think it’s an EU health and safety rule.
I apologised to my opponent in our league game earlier before we started as I knew that they were off-putting, the normal response to them is “Wow!”
Anyway, Back to the Future now there’s a theme. I’ve been thinking about the past and future a lot lately with going to see the show of “1984” at Nottm Playhouse the other week and now reading another dystopian thriller “Brave New World” where frankly I wonder if I need to be in a different state of consciousness to understand it. Both are set in the future and written before 1950. They both tell of grim futures where control and order is the way (nanny state anyone?)
We also settled in tonight to watch a recording of the new show on Sky “You, Me and the Apocalypse” which begs the question for me of what we would do if we knew that the earth would end imminently? I’ve heard the mantra often bounded about on Facebook about seizing the day, carpe diem, living life to the fullest, as if it’s your last day etc and think about what this really means. If we truly knew that our time was limited what would we do? I guess that people with terminal illnesses may feel like it’s the apocalypse, how does knowing that change how you feel?
Part of me enjoys the unknowing blissful state of not knowing when my time may be up and so trying to just enjoy the moment and plan for the future too, flexibly, but what does living for today mean, and do, for you?
Ok so this is the first post!
I just thought that when I have thoughts and experiences to share that others could find interesting or helpful that i’d do it – if you nod off reading my future posts I can take no responsibility for this or for any narcolepsy-related accidents, i’d advise you to always have a cuppa ready for when you log on! (To be honest that’s a pretty good idea anyway in life whatever the reason e.g.
your team is stuffed at home
the car won’t start
you pass go and collect £200 in monopoly… etc etc you get the picture)
I intend to write about life and my work with helping others to be the best they can through coaching, training, emotional support, bribery, cajoling etc)